Forward – Illu Frito

Moving Forward: W, Coffee, Dexter

[If you've ever been depressed, perhaps you've felt guilty about it. Perhaps it had seemed like a spectacular, even luxurious waste of time, or unwarranted, living in a safe European country or the US. Perhaps when it was over, you worried about when it would come again. Maybe you alienated some of your friends and family who could not understand why you couldn't be your normal self during this period.

A friend and I have been talking about depression lately and the urge to die. Sadly, it was talking about suicide that was one of the major catalysts for my other very good friend and I breaking contact with each other. This isn't a downer post, you'll see if you read on. But this picture is about moving forward, no matter what is behind and no matter what's ahead. If my new friend reads this, she'll know she's in my thoughts.]

And now, dear moofs. Please clear your minds.


I have gas.

Wait… where are you all going?

It’s not my fault! It’s this soup I had for dinner… delicious ramen…. but it gave me infernal gas. All right. Gas discussed. Moving on.

I’m on tumblr now. Yep, mainly to stalk the girl who runs the androgyny blog :D. (Yes, I’m giving her her space and keeping a respectful distance, despite my urge to stalk harder, don’t worry.) Anyway, I’m sure you’re all DYING to know what my name is, be honest, you want to waste more time with me, but I won’t give you my address, ’cause that’s where I harvest and post all my sick prOn ^-^b. No worries though. We can still meet here on the Couch for coffee and good times and even pretty boys.

Speaking of pretty boys. Tumblr man. It’s kind of a weird parallel universe. It’s like this pit… of screams. Happy screams and sad screams and perverted screams and very young screams. Tumblr makes me feel old. I guess it’s because its kids who have the time to go on porn and pic trawls (well, kids and people who work from home… yay, that’s me.) So many times, I look at a picture and I’m like… fuck, I should NOT be attracted to this guy! He was born in the 90s!!!!

What’s fucked up is that some people born in the 90s are legal now :D

Moof, get it together! You’re going to make your guests think J’s not cutting it in bed. No, no, TMI, this next line is, but I always told J that if there was a sex Olympics, Japan would be getting a 10 from Hungary >:D… I guess I’m just… greedy?

Anyway, back to tumblr. It’s sad yes. Often, it makes me sad. I go on these kids’ blogs if they follow me and they’ve got carved up arms and ribs sticking out like xylophones. The mother cat side of me just wants to tuck them all under my wing and be like… it’s going to be okay. You’re not fat. You’re not ugly. It’s going to be okay.

Those are most of my followers. And then…. some of the guys I draw …  0_0. I’m like. Jesus on a bun. XXXX has responded to say he likes the picture I drew of him. I guess I have to be extra careful now, my anonymity as a drawer of androgynous men and beautiful boys is in danger…

One person who doesn’t respond is Nagel. : ( He follows silently, but says nothing. Oh well, it’s probably better that way. Hint: Another person born in the 90s.)

15 responses to “Forward – Illu Frito

  1. Lovely drawing, beautiful coloring and such a wistful, mysterious expression. I’m not sure I can relate as much to the rest – pretty sure I’m more years older than you, than you are of the newly legal. ;) But it’s entertaining and very nicely written. And also a little wistful and mysterious.

  2. Thank you, Cindy =) I’m glad you like it <3
    On newly legal: hehehe, yeah, I’m just starting to grow into my
    role of old pervert :D

  3. The other side of the tumblr tracks is a pretty dark place. I once got lost over there but just could look away. I did look through your work though, you draw really well.

  4. Moof, your mind is a wonderland, never boring , always thought provoking.
    And that drawing! A beautiful heart-breaker.

  5. how on earth are you so productive? You draw so prolifically
    hmm i must work on this productive thing

    • I’ll tell you my secret.
      1. No sleep.
      2. Lost of coffeee (kind of like ‘lots’, but better…)
      3. Only sketches, no ‘finished’ pieces (everything you see on my site is in a sketchbook. ie., they’re done pretty fast)… I WISH I knew how to finish pieces, but I seem incapable of drawing lines that don’t look like ass!
      4. No sleep.

  6. the no sleep is a bitch. I’m always late for work these days.
    today 15 mins late.
    this drawing above looks very finished – the face is beautifully shaded

    • Mmm… thanks =) But you know, the lines themselves.. they are… not finished, you know? Like when YOU draw a line, it looks finished, which brings me to the next comment…

  7. Moof! The soup gave you gas?! NOOOO! probably to many onions or the meat was too fatty. Yeah moof, I finally started to use my Tumblr account and did a bit of tumbling around ended up tumbling down into the rabbit’s hole if you know what i mean…like what szuc said–it gets pretty dark on the other side…but then again, I did cross over the tracks with google+ too last night…remember that profile I showed you? yuuuuuck!!! love you!

  8. oh and referring to ” I WISH I knew how to finish pieces, but I seem incapable of drawing lines that don’t look like ass!” you just give up too quickly. Be more patient and stop selling yourself short.

    • Yeah Hazel, I actually know what my problem is. I press too hard. Like, I put down the first lines like I want them to DIE there. When I look at pro sketches (Ryden’s or YOU!) the pencil is so SOFT… very, very gentle. Only then, when the line is sure do you guys really go over it, I guess?? Maybe I can change. Maybe my ‘style’ will always be kind of mess and I have to accept it… :/ (Not ready to accept it yet though!!!)

      Eeeek… “Remember the profile of the guy who…” and “I love you” Why me?! Why does he remind you of me?? ::laughs::

  9. She is amazing…love the glint in her eyes and the far away look.

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