Too Hot to Do Jack

Okay, so I have a lot of crazy theories.

Crazy, as in not based in science, but in my own conjecture, observations and knee-jerk reactions–still, I figure, observation can be a powerful thing. A few of my favorite crack-pot theories (the list is by no means exhaustive):

Japanese men ever only pass on the XY chromosome and can thus only father male children. (Ask me about this theory sometime. It sounds crazy, but I’ve SEEN it!)

Despite there being a higher level of precipitation in Munich than in any other German city, there is a Germany-wide accepted fallacy that Munich has a wonderful, warm and long summer. I believe this rumor was propagated specifically by Big Beer Garden, whose tendrils are all over the Bavarian countryside.

And last but not least:

Maybe it’s the weather–it’s nice out, so people develop a fuck-it attitude, but warm countries can never seem to get their shit together. On average, they seem to be doing worse than cold/cooler countries.

Now, before anyone calls me a racist, I’ll point out that 1. My observation is applicable to geographical locations and not specific races/nationalities. 2. It is not iron-cast: Singapore is very successful and a tropical country. Russia has frozen testicles littering her streets and there is much poverty. Mongolia (north) is doing worse than China (more South). But there is a definite trend. Look here in Europe, currently: Greece, Italy, Croatia–great weather and economic poop. In contrast, Germany, Norway, Sweden? Weather sucks ass and the economy and infrastructure is purring smoothly.

The US south has always been more economically dodgy than the US North (and then there’s extra dodgy Mexico and extra got-it-together Canada. I mean, they don’t even look their doors, eh??) Africa… the whole continent is warm, the whole continent is not doing so great in economic terms. Asia too–the more tropical countries seem to be struggling.

Anyway, so I’ve had this theory for a while and I thought today I’d  try to find if there was any scientific basis for it at all, and it turns out I’ve been trying to reinvent the wheel ~_~ and this trend is one that has been being pondered for hundreds of years. Montesquieu was one of the first to describe the phenomenon in the 18th century and since then, there have been a couple explanations for it, including:

-Temperate/colder countries had a much more favorable area in which to evolve from a hunting/gathering society to a farming society. Temperate areas also offer a much wider range of cultivatable plants and animals.

-Because of these advantages, temperate countries were then in a position to grow faster, exchange ideas better and then exploit and colonize areas such as Africa and parts of Asia. Once a country is ahead, it tends to stay ahead. Once a country is behind, it is hard to push ahead again…

-Temperate areas have less instances of debilitating diseases, such as malaria, which make certain livestock more or less impossible to keep.

and even

-Regular, yearly frost apparently has a rejuvenating effect on soil and makes it more fertile.

According to a recent study done by MIT, a one degree increase in temperature corresponded to a 1.1% decrease in GDP (a 3% decrease is already considered recession, so 1.1% is rather significant.) Countries were AC is not in widespread use suffer the most when the temperature rises…

Just some strange food for thought.

7 responses to “Too Hot to Do Jack

  1. What have you been smoking/drinking/inhaling/?

    Where did all these Japanese women come from? Is it because women marry other women and have children??? Damn you biology teacher, you lied to us you son of a bitch!!!!

    As for your hot’n’cold Theory. It does sound to me more sense, actually. But, at least in Africaaaahh, isn’t the reason that they’re all so fucked up, because some other (usually colder country, such as France and England) just wanted to “enjoy the nice tropical weather”? Oh and by “enjoy the nice tropical weather” I mean fuck them up entirely and loot everything worth having in them, suck them dry and leave them naked on the street. Just like that cheap prostitute that you’ve been saving up for the last 3 months for.

    From a physics point of view, heat accelerates the process of atoms interaction, thus it could accelerate the chemical reactions leading to the creation of substances (like Oil maybe?) and FLAWAHS (flowers for those of you who can’t read).

    Then again, people in warmer countries tend to be lazy as fuck. Believe me, I konw!

    Interesting stuff, thanks for sharing

    • Lolol, well yeah, that’s one of the theories. Is that the cooler weather made some countries stronger and then they went and prayed on the lesser developed countries… As for warm weather people being lazy as fuck: I can see it. Warm weather makes me lazy too :D

  2. I think I might agree about the warmer vs cooler countries, although India is warm and it used to be rich and well developed pre colonials. Although it varies hugely in climate and temperature so I suppose it levelled out north to south.

    It was extremely warm in London a couple of days ago. It did cross my mind that heat makes people more irritable. Especially on the tube.

    Japanese men having male children? Didn’t the Empress had a mental breakdown because she couldn’t have a son?

  3. There is a counter-argument that the theory is bunk, because many ‘warm’ countries were quite powerful in the past (China, India, Persia, Babylonia, Egypt, Spain). For some reason, the theory fits best past the Industrial Revolution… Ah well, ma theories always got holes in them :D

    EXCEPT my theory about Japanese men, which is air-tight! (Psst, the Japanese emperor is actually Korean, YOU DIDN’T HEAR IT HERE!!!!)

  4. A fascinating read. :)

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