Maybe you’ve noticed, and maybe you haven’t, but a cruel, subversive subgroup of English speakers are trying to change the phrase “every day” to “everyday.” I don’t know what their nefarious motives are. It could be innocent ignorance. It could be they just don’t want to add that space anymore. They figure, if they added up all the half-seconds from NOT hitting the space bar when they typed ‘every day’ over the course of their entire lives, they might gain an extra nine minutes to watch “Top Speed” and eat chicken nuggets in their eighties. It’s a sweet plan, but unfortunately…
“Everyday” has a meaning too. Its an adjective that means “ordinary.” An everyday occurrence. Perhaps it also happens EVERY DAY, but it need not.
Now, I thought the last public and gross misuse of this phrase was generated by Coke’s mineral water offshoot, Dasani, with their slogan “Treat yourself well. Everyday.” (Then again, what can you expect from a company that started its UK bottled water marketing campaign under the slogan “Bottled spunk.”???* *(Apparently, it was only after posters had been distributed and bells and whistles sounded that someone meekly pointed out that ‘spunk’ was a slang term for ‘semen’ in the UK. …Uhm. … In the entire English speaking world, so far as I know…. ahahahaha.)
So anyway, I thought Dasani was the last major offender. But this misuse crops up again. And again. And again. Most recently in the letterhead of my husband’s software company. I won’t name names, but it’s an international company and the slogan was something to the effect of “Treating our customers right. Everyday.”
Knowing my personal hatred of this particular use, he couldn’t resist telling me about it nor of what ensued: When he wrote an email back and in an aside, discreetly tried to point out that this was a misuse of the word, the president wrote back something to the effect of, well, this is what the team is working with at the time being, and I thought–
Dude. It’s wrong. It’s just as wrong as if it had said: Treating our customIrs right, everyday. Be HAPPY that someone pointed this out and then just change it! But with everyday/every day, people have this tendency to not believe you. Like you’re trying to force them to put in a superfluous space for no good reason. They hem and
haw and mumble into their lapels and talk about customers preferring the ‘alternate’ spelling and all kinds of happy horse shit.
If you’re a marketing guy or girl and you’re debating on using the trusty “Blah blah blah. Every day,” template, please!!!!! Have mercy on us! And if you DO get caught with your pants down, try to take it with grace–not like this:
One of my favorite exchanges of all time, between grammar conscious David Armstrong and Coca Cola. Read all four letters for maximum grammar hilarity!!