Ugh. This picture looks a thousand times better in real life and it’s a full spread and there is this fuckyeah Jugendstile explosion on the omitted right panel–but. As usual. Cannot take a decent pic/scan of it. So here’s the castrated version. ><
This post will be a little all over, sorry moofs.
I actually wanted to post it yesterday, March 1st, Self-Harm Awareness Day. If you’re not aware of self-harm, it’s what they used to call self-mutilation, the practice of repeated and compulsive (usually) cutting of the wrists, arms, legs or other parts of the body. Generally associated with teenagers and a practice that makes me very very sad.
There are many reasons for self-harm; abuse, neglect, lack of positive attention (yes, I believe as human beings we crave positive attention and we suffer severely when we are denied it…).
General insecurity. Poor body image. Bullying.
Not everyone’s got a sad story though, in my case, there was no reason for self-harm, I just looked at the world sometimes and it was so fucking heavy and vast, not always even in a bad way, that I had to make a hole on myself to let it all in (to let it all out?)
Nietzsche said that ‘God enters through the wound,’ and I think Nietzsche was a self-important misogynistic dickhead, but he had a few good one liners. I haven’t self-harmed in… what? Three years now? (Never a cutter, eeeg, too messy, I was a burner), but now I’m all grown up and adults don’t do that shit anymore, right? We still think about it though, we think about it, and to those kids out there who are doing it and fighting the urge to do it again, I wish there was something ragingly positive I could say to you. :<
I want to talk about unicorn farts and pots of gold, but it would sound fake, so I’m just going to say, hang in there.
And I hope all of you find the activity or the person or the place that makes that evil little voice inside curl up and die.
I want to dedicate this post to someone ^^. You know, on WP it will say if someone came to my blog from another website (or another blog) and about a week ago, a blog popped up who’s URL I didn’t recognize. I went and checked it out. At that point, there were only two entries, freshly created baby blog, so I read them both. First entry was pretty sad :< Definitely someone who I could emotionally relate to. The next (so chronologically first) entry described sort of the aim and objective of the blog… and at the end of it, this anonymous person thanked me. I blinked. Yeah, me! She said (and I checked on the profile, she’s a girl) she said that I have saved her life and that I was her hero. O_O Can you fucking believe that?? I was like horrrri sheeet!? I know I couldn’t believe it, and I just sat there like an idiot and stared at the paragraph for a good few minutes and I felt this overwhelming feeling spread through to the tips of my fingers and toes, like wow.
Something I wrote or something I drew helped somebody.
And it felt incredibly warm, and humbling, and good.
So to that person, I would like to say thank you for writing such a thing, I know I feel like I don’t deserve it, but thanks just the same.You made me feel (no, I still feel!) ten meters tall. <3 <3
I wish you all the luck and write me if you ever want, okay? email@example.com