Scars. Flamingos. Some grapefruits. Are pink.
Cold lips. Blue jays. Blueberries. Are blue.
Hydrangeas with little aluminum sulfate in their soil are pink.
Hydrangeas with more aluminum sulfate in their soil are blue.
See a pattern? (I don’t.) So why then, this rampant color fascism?
I blame the binary tendency of the human brain. It’s gotta be 0 or 1. Black or white. Pink or blue. Girl or boy…
My mother in law is going nuts. “You haven’t found out the sex of the baby, so I never know what to buy for clothes!” She wails each time we meet. “Oh, I can’t WAIT to find out it’s a GIRL! I’m going to just PILE UP the pink things then!!!!!”
I sit in the back seat of our car barreling towards IKEA and picture the moment (–) comes out and should present herself as a girl: we’ll both be drowned in an avalanche of bismuth-colored tutus, footies, cappies, booties, bubbies, snuggies, and all the damn rest. What does a few drops of red in white have ANYTHING to do with being a girl, I wonder?
To a lesser extent, my own mom also complains that everything is geared towards one sex or another in the moiling baby industry, ‘sex’ being defined by pink or blue. I tell her “Just buy pink AND blue and … every other color. They DO sell other colored things, right?” Oh, but you can’t dress a baby boy in pink!! I’m told.
I can’t REMEMBER being a baby, but I bet it kind of sucked. You shit yourself, you piss yourself, you’re so weak, you can’t lift your own head, and if you live in certain parts of the world, your parents VOLUNTARILY let a piece of your dick get chopped off right after you got squeezed through your mom’s *%23, then went home to spend 18+ hours of your day lying on your back and staring at shiny stuff dangling over your face.
…you think a person in that state gives a SHIT about what COLOR they’re wearing? I highly doubt it. Of course, the whole gender color pink/blue kerfuffle is for the parents. It’s the very first step in getting their little moofie on the right step of non-ambiguous binary human thinking.
Incidentally, back in the day, pink was the boy color and blue was the girl color, pink being the ‘little brother’ to ferocious, vivacious red, and blue evoking the soft, feminine mantle of the Virgin Mary. No green, no puce, no lavender, no red, no black, no tangerine. Then the Victorians came and decided even two colors were a little too improper (or maybe it was the Calvinists, scared that all that two color hurdygurdy was going to piss pissy God off even more), so they just started putting males and females in dresses. Until you were like… six, you wore a long white dress and that was that. If an old lady saw you on the street, and you were under five, she had a fifty fifty chance of correctly guessing what gender you were.
THEN came WWI. A lot of blue uniforms. The vierge’s colors were pushed into the masculine sphere. THEN came the Nazis, who randomly decided a big pink triangle was what gays needed to wear. Pink was pushed towards a more feminine sphere. And sometime by the American fifties, pink was cemented as the girl color, blue as the boy, and nobody ever looked back.
I, for one, would like to look back. I mean, would YOU like to wear one color for years? I bet not. So why not truss up the little meat pies in different colors, like you do with yourself? It can be done–the other day, we were at a “Baby Barn” type kid’s outlet, and I noticed plenty of clothes that were all sorts of hues–(yes, ‘scanty’ when compared to the overwhelming sea of pink and blue, but still voluminous and adequate.)
So down with this color fascism! We started with the kid’s room–blue? Pink? Screw it. It’s ‘Velveeta cheez’ ( NOT what the paint company called it, but probably due to copyright issues with Kraft, so they had to settle with the less-evocative ‘fresh pressed orange juice’. ) And then, I’m going to dress (–) in nut-brown, and lemon-yellow, and violety-violet, and chikadee blue and cotton-candy pink.
We are in Europe, after all >:P If grown Bavarian men with hair on every square centimeter of their bodies can rock a pink shirt, I’m sure a little baby can pull it off. Even if she is a boy. ^-^