Tag Archives: Hungary

A Small Step Back for Ice-T…

A huge blow for democracy.

I’ve been wondering for years now what the hell Hungary is doing in the EU. (Ok, there are a few other countries I’ve been wondering about too, but…) Not that I should wonder TOO hard–if this gross oversight by the Euro angels hadn’t been made in 2004, I would not have valid papers to live in this here cushy Munich. But I’m not sure I can justify EU citizenship at the expense of the entire European Union sliding downhill.

Even I am not that selfish.

In the year of the Euro crisis, a few times I’ve torn my hair and screamed into my pillow with only God listening: “What were they thinking when they let Hungary in?!” You know. THEY.

But now it’s 2011 and I finally see the error of my ways:

I was wrong European Union, and you were right.

Hungary isn’t just a fucked-up little post-Eastern-bloc prosti with good sausages and chicks with tight butts. It is a country dedicated to shielding its youth from the utter vulgarity that gushes from the American rapper Ice-T. And that is a trend all countries, demo and despo alike, can seek to emulate.

Will Hungary take away the rights of free speech from its ordinary citizens to carry out this
holy and little understood mission?

Hell yes. Because unlike other free nations, they do not make the mistake of underestimating the lyrics of this man. (not to be confused for the even more incendiary lyrics of a certain Hot-T). From the song 99 Problems: I’ve got a ho from the East, got a ho from the West. Got a ho that likes to jack it off and rub it in her chest.

Filthy, filthy, filthy.This is not the kind of stuff prim Magyar youths should be listening to. Which is probably why Mr. Orban Victor, current PM of Hungary and leader of ruling parliamentary party FIDESZ kicked off 2011 by passing a very vague, splashy 180 page law allowing for the censorship of virtually all media, even those residing in the shadowy hallows of the internetS. (ALL of them.) And because I am naive and trusting of my fellow man, I imagine this move must be to stop Ice-T and his brethren.

It can’t be, ex-foreign minister Jeszensky reassures us in an interview with Spero News, a move towards political censorship and general despotism. (Hear, hear! What POSSIBLE interest could Mr. Orban have in possessing total control over his oppositions’ expressions and squelching the amount of corruption revealed to the ‘good nep’ on the news and radio? The c-word? In Hungary?!)

What this new media law is, Jeszensky purrs, is a law to protect DECENCY.

The first to feel the lash of censorship was the Hungarian radio station Tilos (Banned), for airing an Ice-T song back in September 2010. Understandably. The song has the word ‘ass’ in it and was thus deemed unfit for under-16 ears, though it makes me wonder if Orban was schooled out of the country…. or whose tender sensibilities he is protecting exactly. Oddly, no Hungarian youth I’ve ever encountered, say over the age of ten, would have a problem of telling me to go get impaled on my good-grandpa’s dick. Or to crawl back into my mama’s c***. I bet Hungarian kids learn the word ‘ass’ right after ‘mama’ and ‘weewee’.
(I know I did…*)

*lie

And the angle that this is a move to control ever-increasing anti-Semitic/anti-Roma rhetoric in popular media is simply laughable. If you stopped Hungarians from bashing gypsies… … what would they even have to DO? I mean. Really? That is a national pastime. …It would be like taking away the French from the rest of us. Orban knows this. FIDESZ knows this.

So the only logical conclusion is: now that Hungary has perfected pre-stained underwear (ahaha, I was buying a pack of underwear last year in Hungary and I joke you not, a SEALED package of three came with a stain already, on the crotch–only back home)… So now, that they’ve dominated all competitors in the pre-stained underwear industry, they figured they had bigger fish to fry. And their hungry little eyes just happened to fall on Ice-T. Poor bastard.

Or: My poor ex-home-country really continues to get raped side-ways by a bunch of corrupt, power-hungry a-holes.  Ahhh, I don’t know what’s the truth anymore!!!!